Theoretical Neurophysiologist Karl Simanonok, PhD is looking for lucid dreamers to join his study on “auditory binding,” which is the hypothetical moment when consciousness “sticks to” the auditory system while waking up out of sleep.
Specifically, potential co-researchers in this study are asked to consciously experience their hypnopompic imagery when moving out of a dream state, and then report which sounds they experience at the threshold moment.
If you’re interested in participating in original lucid dream research and testing your conscious dreaming mettle, click here for Simanonok’s website on the topic as well as his website discussing his Nexus Theory of Consciousness.
Hypnagogia and hypnopompia are two areas in dream research that are vastly unstudied, mostly because of the lack of lucid dreamers who can report back their experiences. Ordinarily, these two sister-states of consciousness last less than a minute, and are usually not remembered by the average sleeper. As with all consciousness thresholds, they hold secrets about the nature of our perceptions, memories, and sensations, especially with regards to the human visionary capability.
UPDATE: This study is over, but for further discussion, check out Karl’s group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/
This is a really interesting area of research. Going from being a non-lucid dreamer when I was young… to achieving lucidity more and more, you start to become more aware of the in-between states like this. It’s treading this fine line that allows you to wake up, open your eyes, and still return to a lucid dream. Or being consciously aware of what’s going on around you while also dipping under the surface for some “dreamy” subconscious insights. As all lucid dreamers and meditators eventually learn, its a fun and often enlightening state to explore.
well said, Rebecca. next step for this “state” is verification by EEG. could even be a number of various states that have similar phenomenology.
Correction: Karl Simanonok has his Ph.D. in Physiology, not Physics, and Auditory Binding has nothing to do with lucid dreaming. Plus he had never heard of “hypnopompic imagery” before today, though it more or less fits.
Auditory Binding is an ARTIFACT that occurs during the transition from sleep to wakefulness which can be detected as a brief characteristic sound under the right conditions (does not require lucid dreaming). The right conditions include the ability to “sleep surf” which is readily learned with a little training, see http://sleepsurfing.com to learn how.
thanks for the correction Dr. Simanonak. Lucid dreaming and hypnopompic imagery are terms I applied to this research in order to parse it with modern dream studies, not intending to misrepresent your work. Lucid dreaming as I define it includes sleep onset. by the way, the “sleep surfing” metaphor for consciousness within sleep is fantastic.
I’m interested in learning how to stop hypnopompic hallucinations. I am an artist and have created a painting sketch (like journaling) about my experience. If anyone would like to see it, I can share via email. These are frightening….
Wanda – I’d love to see your art. contact me from the about page.
HH can be frightening, but it is easier to learn to work with the visions than try to “stop” them because everyone has their own sleep ecology. check out my post on dealing with lucid nightmares, because the mindframes there are relevant: http://dreamstudies.org/2008/10/13/lucid-nightmares-fear-initiation-and-beyond
I have had hypnopompic hallucinations for about 5 years now (since around 18). Quite often they are extensions of my nightmares but sometimes they are quite pleasant, a few times just sitting there talking to an old friend and sometimes sexual hallucinations are brought on. I always only hear of bad hypnopompic hallucinations, how different is it to have pleasant ones?
And dream surfing has always been easy. I wake from a good dream, I can almost always revisit it immediately.
Sean, sounds like you have the makings of a good dreamer! pleasant hypnagogia is well-known in my circles; I have friends who are like you in their ability to surf the edge of sleep for as long as they wish. volunteer for a dream lab study sometime – they are always looking for dreamers like yourself.
My hypnopompic hallucinations are getting the best of me. I am not sleeping right. I am wondering if they can be a symptom or a starter of real sleep deprivation? My youngest child is 6 now, but what I am going through is similar to what it was like when she would not sleep through the night. I feel so sleepy all of the time…even after 8 hours of sleep. Husband says I do not snore. But I wake up lots at night having these stupid hallucinations. Last time I was “waiting” to receive an oracle from a mirror that is near my bed. It was glowing and I was being told to just wait…wait… mean while I am wondering if I was losing sleep during this waiting? I am taking melatonin to try to correct the problem. Maybe it is making it worse?
This is so interesting. I never knew there were words to describe what I was experiencing. For as long as I remember I’ve been a very vivid dreamer and if I woke up unexpectedly and didn’t like where or the way my dream had ended I could go back and finish it. There are times when I refuse to wake up until I get an outcome I am content with. But, I’m not sure that I’m really asleep at that point either. I often write poetry based upon my dreams (I saw the other post from someone who paints afterward) so maybe being creative has something to do with it. I found this page because recently I have started having hallucinations as I’m falling asleep or waking up. They seem very real and often confusing. Like this morning. I saw and felt my 2 year old get up and walk across the bed, just as he was about to tumble off, I realized I could still feel him curled up next me. I had to open my eyes to be sure of which one was real. It’s the 3rd time something like that has happened this week. The only other something like that happened to me was when I was very sleep deprived at the end of my pregnancy and the first few months after my son was born. I know my anxiety that something was bad going to happen to him contributed to the vivid hallucinations at that time and I guess I still have some anxiety. Now that I have some terms to work with I look forward to finding out more about my unique abilities.
Hi Patricia. I am the one who wrote about painting. I have several. I even have once since my post that I painted from a frightening hallucination. I am a Christian–very conservative. So this is hard for me to say. But I wonder about demons..playing with my mind. Or maybe I sense evil in my home, or sin???? and I output it through these horrifying haullucinations? I would love to read your poetry if you care to share. I could show you my two paintings if you like. They are more like sketch paintings. One I could not finish because it was just a real fright to me. It was of someone standing right behind my husband as he walked out of our door on his way to work. This was our bedroom door. This person was a girl..and she had a sinister grin on her face, very slight but quite obvious. And she was looking dead at me. No ghostly looking–solid, casting shadows…REAL! But then I rubbed my eyes and she was gone. I feel like I am going crazy sometimes but I did speak to a counselor who does believe it is this type of hallucination. I do wish there were a way to stop them. If anyone knows how, please share.
Wanda and Patricia, I’m so pleased to see people sharing info on this site! maybe I should get a forum up one of these days. these hynagogic hallucinations (HH) are often associated with sleep paralysis, and sometimes they occur without the SP feelings. sleep deprivation is a big part of it, but there are other possibilities because sometimes these visions happen when we are undergoing a significant life change — the visions are a symptom of a “crisis in meaning” and can actually reflect some of the mythological work of this crisis. and Wanda, I am about to publish an ebook about how to deal with these scary HH visions, so stay tuned!
Hello all, I’m very glad to have found this site, in the past year I have been trying to find the correct label for what has happened to me when I sleep since I was a child. I would be very interested in participating in a study. I am 31 years old and for as long as I can remember I have had what I think to be considered hypnopompic hallucinations. I have them on average 2 times a week, usually more. They are mostly frightening but not always a continuation of a dream, sometimes I snap out of it on my own, sometimes I don’t and sometimes I remember them sometimes I don’t. If I do remember, its usually not until the next night, its odd. For example, when I was about 3, this is the first one I remember, I was in a crib, and yes I do actually remember this like it was yesterday, I woke up to see a giant white caterpillar at the end of my crib slowly creeping towards me. I was screaming and my mother kept yelling for me to go back to sleep, my grandmother who had slept over came in and took a tissue and scooped the caterpillar up and made me watch her flush it. When I was about 10 years pla I asked her if she remembered that and she said yes but there was no caterpillar, she just wanted to calm me. This has gone on my entire life, my husband has gotten used to me looking for creatures in the crack of the bed, screaming at the spiders all over the wall, nursing my son when he was in his crib, hearing someone yell at me, snakes everywhere. Everyone who has known me has had an experience with me hallicinating. Sometimes they gave been more unpleasant than others. When I was pregnant with my son they became so severe I could barely sleep then about 2 thirds of the way through they calmed down. I have tried my whole life to explain this to people and they just think I’m dreaming, but I try and explain to them, I hear them saying, there is nothing there! But I still see it. Its scary and but I’ve gotten used to it. I’d really like to participate in a study. I wonder if my son will be like me and hallucinate too. Oh and I also sleep walk but not nearly as often as I hallucinate. Someone please give me some feedback!
Hi Karen.
Out of curiosity, are you an artist? Or artistic? I wonder about folks who struggle like this and I have wondered since I am an artist, is this why I have the hallucinations? If I had to give up painting or my creativity to get rid of them, I would not–I could not! But I do hate them. If you are artistic, I recommend expression your hallucinations. For me, I journal sketches on photoshop. I just draw them and it helps me to realize what they are. If you would like to see what I am talking about I can share my paintings with you… just let me know.
Ryan I just read your post…today…. I am looking forward to your book.
I just wanted to say that I am a part of a large community of artists and I have so many friends who have this issue. Ryan do you know if being creative or artistic-minded plays a role at all in this? Sometimes I feel like I’m going nuts but when I sketch or paint, I calm down and don’t usually have a repeat of my hallucinations (which is REALLY nice if that one was scary).
Wanda, no I am not an artist. I do have a better than average memory though which I have wondered if that somehow causes this. I never even thought about trying to stop it from happening though. Probably because its happened to me my entire life and I really am quite used to it. Even though I never sleep good and I have terrifying hallucinations. I’ve just accepted that they are a part of me!
You know I have nursed seven babies and my youngest is now 6 years old. I have not had any hallucinations of them. Most of mine lately have not been nuetral. They are sinister, evil or something. My gosh one was so frightening even though I knew it was not real.
I hope I can figure out how to manage this. I hope that it is not a pre-curser to dementia, either 🙁
Wanda, yes, creativity definitely plays a role in HH. artistic types often have thinner boundaries, which means more joy and more sorrow. but the correlation is not causation… regardless, I assure you that HH is not a precursor to dementia. I am working on getting this material public as fast as possible.
Karen, sleep exhaustion can also promote these hallucinations at the boundaries of dreams and reality. the sensation that someone is present in the room is creepy but if you can work on centering yourself, the evil-feeling-ness will go away. the evilness is a mirror of fear that is “projected” into the room like a movie.
I have had hypnagogic hallucinations as a kid. I would run out into the living room because I thought my parents were talking or the TV was on. Only to find out, everyone was sleeping. I also experience (few weeks out of the year) a geometric slide show that is unexplainable and outrageous. The shapes, sizes and the details couldn’t possibly be thought of in my “normal” waking hours, or any human being. And the speed in which they rotate, is to quick to document. They are prize winning art. I only have these experiences before I fall completely asleep. I also have the evolving faces on occasion….I never knew that only a percentage of people (without a mental illness) experiences these types of episodes. I am female, a Graphic Designer and photographer. I only wish my work was as outstanding as what my semi-sleeping brain can produce. My issue is now, I’m having vivid (crazy)dreams where I wake up with a racing heart 2 or 3 hours into sleep…REM. I’ve had a sleep study, EEG…all normal. Yet, my heart rate has been documented through a holter monitor at 150 beats at 3:30am, 2:30am, 4:00am. It’s been a year and no answer, as of today. I’m at a loss for answers. I would like to know what this is and what has transpired in my brain to result in this…all of a sudden in the past year.
Hi Marianna.
I don’t know but wondered if you are going through any creative processes? Something more intense than before this past year? I am noticing these happening more often recently, and also I have been on a non-stop creative process as well. Perhaps there is a connection?
One other thing I wondered if Ryan could answer, is I also have the odd condition of smelling shapes, colors, etc. For example, the perfume “exlclamation” smells “round” to me. Its not like I associate it with something round…it simply “is” round. I had not mentioned this before as I had read once that it was a neurological problem. But I just thought it worth bringing up. also in smelling colors, for some reason a specific hue of blue and magenta are what I mostly smell. Sometiems yellow, but its not all colors. If you know of a connection to this, I would be very interested in hearing it.
OMG! I am so glad to find a current thread about this. Until last year, I literally thought I was going crazy because of these, so I started researching hallucinogenic dreams. Then I found they had a name. Hynopompic and hypnagogic. I suffer from both. The first one since 2005 and the second all my life. For 3 years after the “bad” ones started I only told a few people because I didn’t want people to think I was crazy. I was living with my grandmother to take care of her in a very old house and I truly thought that maybe it was ghost activity causing these dreams. I was 25 at the time. The only way I seemed to be able to get out of them was to be able to get hold of my conscious self to turn on my lamp. They would go away then. At this time I would see bugs coming out of the ceiling, or one of the stranger ones was ladders falling from the ceiling. After I moved and got married, I just figured they would stop. They didn’t. The next way I was able to get out of the dreams was to find a way to rouse my husband. This could take a very long time sometimes. I had at this point realized I was in this type of waking dream and I just had to find a way out. Lots of times it is bugs of some kind. The absolute worst was when I saw my husband above me and he was keeping me silent while he was trying to get into his sleeping self. That to this day is the scariest one I have ever had. Sometimes, I see grids, or lights and sometimes, they just aren’t scary but because I know what they are now, I try my best to change what is going on around me to get out. At one point it got to where me trying to wake up my John didn’t work anymore, and my subconscious changed things so that my dreams were making my husband the cause of what was going on. I would actually see him press a button to make the things that I know were not there happen. That is how badly I have put my mind into these to make them stop. John has actually seen and heard me go through these. I will finally find my voice sometimes and try to tell him what is going on while I am still in these. I talked to my Aunt who is a psychologist and she recommended I try valerian root and melatonin, which I now take an hour or so before bedtime. It doesn’t always work though, and I have these a few times a week usually an hour or so after I fall asleep. The hypnagogic hallucinations I have had all my life. I still have these but not as often. I will hear the tv on when it is not on, or an alarm that is not on or someone calling for me. My mother told me that as a child I used to sleepwalk, and I often hallucinated when I ran a high temp (usually with ear infections.) It is nice (well not nice but comforting) to know that there are others that experience this like me.
Hi Dana. I am glad you have found us. I am happy to meet another person struggling with this as well. Please consider journaling what you see and experience. I think this will help you in your pursuit to keep reality in check and maybe help reinforce the ability you have to turn on the light “in your head.” I do not have that ability yet but since journaling, I have been able to realize the nights I am more likely to have these. For me, its when I have slept less or am under stress. I also take melatonin. I take the 3mg. It makes me groggy though and I cannot find a pharmacy around where I live that sells it in smaller doses. For an entire year I took benadryl and it would knock me out but I began taking 4 at a time as the effect began to lessen over time. So I just stopped taking it. I do also suffer from insomnia. Do you?
I have learned a lot from the folks here, especially Ryan. Hopefully we can walk through this scary stuff together and not feel so alone.
Thanks for writing!
-wanda
Marianna, I think Wanda asked the right question: what is going on with your stress levels right now? it really seems like these HH are heightened social anxiety, and major life changes. there’s also a connection to panic attacks – might be worth checking in with yer medical provider just in case. as a graphic designer, you must be loving the imagery tho. that’s the stuff that Salvador Dali fueled his lifeworks with.
Wanda, so cool about your mixed senses – that is called synesthesia, by the way. it’s not necessarily a neurological issue, not at all! document these. I’ve only experiences this a couple times, and both times it was in a lucid dream. Oliver Sacks writes about it, and Clare Jay just wrote a novel about synesthesia and dreams too, called “breathing in color.” clarejay.com
Dana, thanks for commenting about your experiences. the bugs.. that’s intense. Valerian and melatonin, good combo. I may also suggest some “heavy” food before bed that are rich in tryptophan (like whole grain spagetti), as well as avoid sleeping on your back which promotes HH and increases the time spent in sleep onset when these experiences occur.
you’re a natural visionary! welcome.
I am soo glad I was sent a link to this website and doubly so to find so many people out there with similar issues. I have repetitive hypnopompic episodes which started out of the blue approximately 3 years ago. I am turning 50 this year so it came as quite a surprise. I always see the same thing.. spiders- large black hairy- either dropping down from the ceiling towards me, running across the wall (sometimes more than one), or running across the bed towards me. To say I freak out when it happens is to put it mildly, but I have – on occasion – been able to stop the panic while having the experience. I am aware after a few seconds of extreme fear I have been able to talk myself down by reminding myself it is not real. The spiders always fade and disappear.
any comments/advice would be welcome!
Hi Carmen. Thanks for writing in and sharing. I am always encouraged to know there are more folks who struggle through this—I don’t mean that I am happy you are struggling, just that we are not alone. 🙂
The first thing that came to my mind when reading your post was how cool it is that you are able to, even if on an occasion, able to stop the painc during the experience. How awesome it would be if you could figure out any common denominators that allowed you to gain that control! If you figure them out–tell us so that we might give it a try!
Also I wanted to let everyone know that while melatonin has not helped me and gives me poor side affects, I am now trying 5-HTP. This is supposed to help with seratonin, though I don’t know if it will help the dreams…I am suffering from insomnia and part of it is due to fear of having an HH, as most of them are frightful. I’ll post if it is helping at all.
Thanks for the tips on synesthesia Ryan…I’ll read up on this! My family laughs at me if I say something smells round. I’m always very much awake when it happens though. It happens every day, while driving, or in the market getting veggies. Its strange to most and normal for me. Now I know a name for it! Thanks!
Hi Wanda 🙂 thanks for responding to my post. and it is a comfort to know there are more of ‘us’ out there 🙂
I have only been able to manage my panic twice out of the many times it has happened. I am so afraid of these spiders and it is so real – my sister suggested that before I fall asleep at night I think about the episodes and remind myself they are not real. Repeat to myself – as in a mantra if you like – that they are not real I can stop them. I think it probably worked for me because they actually happened on the nights I focused on this before sleep. Then the dreams taper off and I become complacent and they come back unexpectedly and I am not prepared – hence not able to control the panic. It is a strange business that’s for sure. I have just downloaded Ryan’s ebook and am hoping to find loads of good info and advice in that. Thanks Ryan!
Enhance your dreamlife – near top right of this page – Ryan’s book 🙂
🙂 I am enjoying it, but am accessing from work which gives me limited time.
Thanks Carmen—-what ebook?
How could I be on here all this time and not know he has a book? I read all of the time, so this is great!
Ok, thanks!
Hello Ryan, thanks for the tips and I agree – I think that using a mantra could definitely help. Will give it a try from tonight.
I have never looked at it from that angle – potent ally – that is a really interesting theory and comforting at the same time 🙂
Carmen, thanks for sharing your experience with confronting fear during HH. Controlling your fear and using a mantra (or affirmation) are two techniques I suggest in my new sleep paralysis ebook for people who experience HH with sleep paralysis — and it’s effective for HH alone too. Controlled breathing, leaning into faith, gratitude practices and other mind-body techniques are how to meet HH with an open heart and clear mind. there’s also ways to mentally build safety zones, as well as opportunities to explore the imagery courageously to see where it takes you.
And isn’t it funny how the HH comes back when you’re least prepared? In my mind, that is a signal that these waking dreams are more than “weird problem” but a potent ally that has potential for self growth.
Our own built-in visionary alarm system.
Wanda, I’m very much interested in your exploration with dream supplements, especially 5-HTP, so stay in touch!
I regret not looking up this site earlier. I didn’t realize so many people dream as I do. I’ve always had vivid nightmares and lucid dreams. In fact, I think it was the nightmares that caused me to develope such lucid dreams in defense of my fear of losing control. I also sometimes paralysis and hallucinations when I wake up. Those are usually quite terrifying, as I cannot remove myself readily from the nightmare that is so coupled in reality.
Hi Ginny…its nice to *meet* you 🙂 Every time someone writes in I feel a little less alone in this area…so I just wanted to say hi and agree with you—that you are not alone in dreaming like you do. I am learning so much about myself since I first opened up about this. I hope the same for you.
Many blessings!
welcome Ginny. you may enjoy my series of articles on lucid nightmares. start here:
http://dreamstudies.org/2008/10/06/lucid-nightmares-participate-in-dream-research/
Also make sure to download the free Sleep Paralysis report:
http://dreamstudies.org/2010/01/22/sleep-paralysis-treatment-wake-up-cant-move/
Hi Wanda, thanks for the welcome. I am happy to have found this site.
Thank you too Ryan. I will start reading right away. I find this subject fascinating, because most people can’t really comprehend what I’m experiencing. But it sounds like you do. I’ve learned to not talk about it to other people, because it can sometimes be embarassing to share with others think of dreams mere as elusive nocturnal visions with no impact at all.
Ginny: I don’t tell anyone either…except my family, and one counselor I saw on one occassion. She knew what I meant but didn’t go into much there. I think its good to journal about it….
Ryan wanted to mention that 5-HTP seems to make my “dreams” more real. For a few months I gained a little ability to begin to understand what I was experiencing was an HH. Usually I would begin this about “half way” through it, if that make sense. I’ve been on the 5-HTP now for a little over a month I think. In that time I have had 5 or 6 small HH’s, and two major ones. In all of them I could not find the reality except one time: I caught it just as it was appearing as I was falling asleep. And I usually only have these upon waking up or in the middle of the night. So the 5-HTP gave me at least one as I was drifting off, and took away most of my ability to tell what is real and what is not.
I do like the way it makes me sleepy enough to drift off though. Its a constant trade off, I think.
I’ve never tried 5-HTP. I like being in control of my dreams. The nightmares or night hallucinations are much scarier and uncontrollable. I’ve also had lucid nightmares, in which I realize it’s not real, but it is non-the-less teffifying or tragic, and I have very little control.
Ryan: I found your article on lucid nightmares very helpful and reassuring. I remember as a child telling my mother about these horrible dreams, and even a fear of going to sleep at night. She told me I must have a guilty conscience, and should pray. This of course made me think of reasons I might or should feel guilty. I really beat myself up about it, and was afraid to confess my dreams any more.
Hey there folks, I wanted to stop by and share that 5-HTP seems to be helping me in my HH experiences. I cannot think of anything else that could be helping…then again, it might just be a natural “lul” in my experiences. I am hoping that 5-HTP is the real deal and will keep me solidly asleep until I wake up completely like other people do. You have to go off of 5-HTP for about 10 days and then resume however, because you can get a seratonin over-load. So wish me luck when I go off of it! I don’t want the HH’s to come!
Glad I found this sight! I am researching hypnopompic hallucinations again. Since becoming pregnant with my second child(before I even knew it) my hallucinations have increased.
My first hypnopompic experience was as a child and has become sort of family lore. I was about 8 years old and I “woke” sitting up in my waterbed. A frog sitting on a rug, cross legged rose from my bed, with his hands together and bowed at me and sunk slowly bank into the water bed! I told my Mom, convinced it had really happened and she told me it was a dream. I told her but I was awake in my room. I have also been a lucid dreamer since as early as I can remember. I actually thought when I was a kid that was how everyone dreamed!
I breifly took Cymbalta several years ago and my hypnopompic hallucinations took a dangerous turn. Twice I jumped out of my bed, once ripping tendons in my shoulder. Both times I was in a garden chasing someone. I’ve had plenty of scary too. They usually involve snakes, spiders or bugs. Sometimes the hallucinations are tactile or auditory.
I also have hypnagogic hallucinations but they usually are more pleasant. Often I see objects floating above me, usually around my ceiling fan like balloons or birds.
I don’t mind the hallucinations as long as I’m not trying to jump on my nightstand! I am getting better at recognizing them earlier for what they are and enjoy them more. Glad I’m not alone. Should be an interesting pregnancy…
welcome Eve! how interesting that the HH are linked with pregnancy. I have never heard that before. perhaps related to changes in the sleep/wake cycle? dunno, but cool. I have heard meds like Cymbalta can increase HH and nightmares. glad you found another way! Do stay in touch during your pregnancy and check in with more HH stories!
Interesting discussion. Glad I found this website.
I had two incidents of “alien abduction” in pre-pubescence. Besides the almost Jungian agreement of my vision of the unnaturally thin, large-eyed entity that seems to be independently shared by others with similar experiences during sleep paralysis (and in popular literature which my experiences pre-date), I have been most impressed by the sheer number of fellow scientists (or other highly intelligent individuals) that have shared similar experiences. During a late-night activity in my lab, conversation drifted to the “supernatural” and 3 out of 5 scientists had stories to share of this type, some labelled “religious visitations”, others identified in secular terms.
Made me wonder if there was a corellation between intelligence and these types of experiences.
I found a previous poster’s mention of stress interesting. I have been under an extraordinary amount of stress at work recently and also just had my first episode that could only be described as “ghost rape” last night. I instantly recognized its similarity to the “alien abduction” experiences of my childhood.
I would be interested in exploring aspects of lucid dreaming further, especially in exploring tools of directing negative experiences in a more positive direction.
–Lorraine
Please take a glimpse at my rare spiritual book,about my paranormal (prophetic) dreams predicting real events in the near future,by visiting my website at http://www.dirinaioan.com and enjoying a free reading of it !
Any feedback will be appreciated.
With anticipated thanks,Ioan Dirina,author
I’ve been suffering from hypnogogic hallucinations (I think! it’s a self-diagnosis) since i was in my early 20’s. I am now 42. I wake up at night and although awake, see, feel and hear realistic, terrifying and complex hallucinations, until the delusions pass and I return to normal, feeling traumatised and foolish. Because my job is fiction writing, and I inhabit imaginary worlds for much of the day, I have tended to feel that these delusions were part of what makes me “me”. But it has become increasingly traumatic for both me and my poor wife who has to deal with the episodes, so I have to do something. They are almost nightly, and often occur several times a night. I have no awareness that I am in a dream state when they happen and they are usually paranoid, threatening and/or horrific. When finally I realise that the delusion is not real, I am left feeling like a fool, having spent that past few minutes trying to convince my wife of the terrible event that is happening or is about to occur. Last week I was convinced I was choking to death on something blocking my throat. I felt it lodged there, killing me, unable to breathe and begged to be thumped on the back. Often the delusions are much more gruesome and disturbing than that. I really think I need help to cope with this, and I guess this message is the start. Are these things normally so horrific? I am sometimes left shaking with fear.
Hi Chris,
I have been having some luck with two things combined, in addition to vitamin C (no real theory here, I just know its been working) they are 5-HTP (something our body uses to produce seratonin) and melatonin. I take 100 mg of 5-HTP and 3 mg of melatonin both around 8pm, heading to bed sometimes 1 in the morning (very afraid of the HH’s so I cannot sleep). But I have lessened the frequency of my HH’s, and I consider that a good thing. I’m an artist, and contribute much of what I see to imagery as well. My husband does not know what to think! I read recently of a woman having one of these and “seeing” a demon hovering over her! Can you see how these things can cause a heart attack? It worries me. I am not satisfied with my experiences yet but these things I am taking seemed to get me going down a path with a light at the end of it if that makes any sense. I hope you find your answers. Until then, at least know that you are not alone!
I wish to place an advertisement for my book about my prophetic dreams in your publication;please contact me about that with some terms and pricing if I can do it;also,do you have a printed version of it or only online ?
Hi Wanda
I wasn’t sure if I’d get a reply so thanks! Interesting to hear about vitamin C as a possible help, but as for 5-HTP and melatonin, I worry about taking such things. Have you noticed any side-effects, and does it affect your work? I too have experienced such things as demons, or at least an embodiment of evil who was in bed with me and my then girlfriend. He winked at me and climbed inside her. You worry about telling people these things ‘cos, even though they are restricted to the middle of the night, you worry about appearing psychotic! Sigh. I’m not sure there’s much evidence of people suffering heart attacks during an episode. Though, who would know? Thanks for letting me know there are people (nice, non-frightening, safe, pleasant people!) who experience these horrors. I really appreciate your response.
Chris I worried about it too–but I noticed I was also struggling with a tad bit of depression. I am 39 and wondered if it was an age thing? Not sure cause I feel much younger (dont we all) 🙂 But I had to check it out and I did lots of research. My depression/pms symptoms nearly have vanished, but I am not “non-emotional.” I think you probably know as a creative person, to not have emotions does greatly mess with the type of work you produce. This was imperitive to me. I do not have any bad side effects–the only thing I will say is that I notice it a lot when I don’t take the 5-HTP. The melatonin is really something I can do without if I want. But due to insomnia which was born from fear of these stupid HH’s, I try to take it 4-5 times a week at least, 3mg. I have a girl friend who takes 1mg, though I have not found a store that sells it in the 1mg.
Can I ask, since you write, do you journal about these experiences? I paint mine or sketch them. I can show you some if you like. One in particular was when my husband was getting ready to walk out the door. He had his lap top bag on his shoulder, and he was counting change in his hand for the toll. This was in the wee hours of the morning, before I began taking melatonin or 5-HTP. As he was saying good-bye, I was sitting up in bed and SAW a girl in a red hoodie, with the hood pulled up standing directly behind him. So much so that he cast a shadow on her. She was smiling a deviant smile and followed him out the door. I lept up out of bed and looked out the door way (I can’t figure out why I was not afraid to do this? Perhaps I was feeling protective over my husband?) and I only saw him, walking down the stairs. Nothing and no one behind him. That’s as close to a demon I have experienced in my HH’s. These are totaly frightening. Please keep in touch–I have found that since I began posting on this site, I have more courage to get through these. Just knowing there are others out there is an incredible help!
Wanda – I am very happy to keep in touch about this. It’s really reassuring and great to talk with someone who totally gets it.
I imagine that painting is an effective way to record these events because the emotions in them are nearly always so high. I have attempted to use writing to record my dreams before (all dreams, not just HH), but as my dreams are nightly, and lengthy, it has always become a laborious task. The main problem is that each dream event (a scene, image, spoken line, etc) has what C.S. Jung describes as a “psychic content”. This is what gives a dream event its significance that exceeds the nuts and bolts of what actually happened, and makes seemingly ordinary dreams so powerful. Thus someone might say of a dream “I saw my mother, though it didn’t look like her. I just knew it was her”, or else might be terrified by an everyday object. So in writing dreams down you have to record an event and then attempt to describe the sensation it gives, or else you fall way short of describing the dream at all. These dream sensations might be more accessible to the artist through painting, but are often very hard to capture in text. For example in many dreams I experience a sensation that I can only describe as being similar to something I feel when in a bare room that I am about to decorate. It becomes frustrating to fall short of being able to describe these sensations, and they seem to me more important than the actions and settings of the dream. Having said that, I decided two days ago that I would record the HH’s, as I am now determined to do something about them, and at least I would have their frequency and intensity documented. I am becoming tired during the day and sometimes worry that it is affecting my productivity. This leads to more stress, and stress leads to more HH….
I would love to see your paintings! The girl in the red hoodie is very familiar to me by which I mean a figure threatening me or someone I love. [By the way, have you seen Nick Roeg’s 1973 film Don’t Look Now? I should warn you it is a terrifying dream-scape horror if you haven’t, but I’m reminded of its central threatening figure of a girl in a red cloak. Having said that, see above! The red hoodie might be less significant than how you feel about the girl]. In my experience these threatening intruders just ooze malice and unspoken formless threat. For me they can come in all shapes and sizes; men, women, children, sometimes alone, sometimes whole gangs of them. Sometimes the threat can be non-personified, such as laser beams or electrified water, or abstract; I once somehow knew that if my wife left the bedroom it would result in our death. She went to the bathroom and I freaked out. As for your hoodie girl, what sticks out to me was her deviant smile. How often have I seen that smile! Look in my previous message “he winked at me and climbed inside her”. These figures seem so powerful that they are just playing with us as they go about their horrific work. Is this just a device our minds use to make the threat seem more powerful? Or is there some part of us that is in on the joke?
By the way, Dreams by C.S. Jung is really interesting. It’s a collection of his essays on the subject, some of which are brilliant, some of which are frankly potty. I adore Jung – his book Flying Saucers is one of the most fascinating I have read – even if I don’t agree with a lot of his theories, the way his mind works and what he asks us to question about our own minds is amazing. Unfortunately, unlike Freud, he’s a terrible writer, so you often have to wade through impossibly convoluted sentences to get to the meat of what he’s saying. Worth it though. Jung really helped me get a little less freaked out by my dreams by understanding that you cannot take them at face value, and that you cannot – almost by definition – interpret your own dreams, so don’t try. 🙂
I wrote C.S. Jung – twice! – sorry, it is of course C.G. Jung
Thanks for the clarifying Chris. I will be looking the movie and the book up. I am a heavy reader, though I struggle with a learning disability. I will give it a go though!