Comments on: How Dreams of Bereavement Reach Out to Us http://dreamstudies.org/2009/11/05/how-dreams-of-bereavement-reach-out-to-us/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=how-dreams-of-bereavement-reach-out-to-us the dream studies portal Wed, 23 May 2012 21:43:38 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: max http://dreamstudies.org/2009/11/05/how-dreams-of-bereavement-reach-out-to-us/comment-page-1/#comment-1011 max Sun, 02 Jan 2011 22:15:56 +0000 http://dreamstudies.org/?p=1509#comment-1011 my brother reports that our deceased mother of 8 years came to him 2 days ago with unbearable sobbing. he called me to ask if anyone is ill. he also is experiencing loss within his own family. is this his way of bringing his pain into his awareness? my brother reports that our deceased mother of 8 years came to him 2 days ago with unbearable sobbing. he called me to ask if anyone is ill. he also is experiencing loss within his own family. is this his way of bringing his pain into his awareness?

]]> By: Kenya http://dreamstudies.org/2009/11/05/how-dreams-of-bereavement-reach-out-to-us/comment-page-1/#comment-1010 Kenya Wed, 01 Dec 2010 06:55:25 +0000 http://dreamstudies.org/?p=1509#comment-1010 I have a question for you all. My best friend in the whole world died 6 years ago when we were 21 due to lung failure.... He comes to me in my dreams sometimes. Every time he does I get a feeling of true euphoria all over my body... I can feel it while sleeping... I'll see him and every time its like running into to someone you haven't seen for a while, someone you miss and suddenly their they are... So I grab him and hug him and then I start to rattle off every little thing that's happened to me since the last time we spoke. He just sits and listens and smiles at me. Then I always ask him where he's been and then he just fades away... Then I wake up in tears!!! Every time I asked him where has he been, why do I do this.... If its a dream why doesn't he just answer if my mind is producing the dream.... Or why can't I make myself dream of him even if I try or talk about him throughout the day... If I wake up crying every time then my mind hasn't accepted the reality that he's dead even though consciously I know he is no longer here.. I really would like to know why this happens because I spend so much time trying not to dream of him that I've completely stopped having dreams, or I push myself to the point where I just fall asleep with no recollection of dreaming.... I have a question for you all. My best friend in the whole world died 6 years ago when we were 21 due to lung failure…. He comes to me in my dreams sometimes. Every time he does I get a feeling of true euphoria all over my body… I can feel it while sleeping… I’ll see him and every time its like running into to someone you haven’t seen for a while, someone you miss and suddenly their they are… So I grab him and hug him and then I start to rattle off every little thing that’s happened to me since the last time we spoke. He just sits and listens and smiles at me. Then I always ask him where he’s been and then he just fades away… Then I wake up in tears!!! Every time I asked him where has he been, why do I do this…. If its a dream why doesn’t he just answer if my mind is producing the dream…. Or why can’t I make myself dream of him even if I try or talk about him throughout the day… If I wake up crying every time then my mind hasn’t accepted the reality that he’s dead even though consciously I know he is no longer here.. I really would like to know why this happens because I spend so much time trying not to dream of him that I’ve completely stopped having dreams, or I push myself to the point where I just fall asleep with no recollection of dreaming….

]]> By: Kate Maxwell http://dreamstudies.org/2009/11/05/how-dreams-of-bereavement-reach-out-to-us/comment-page-1/#comment-1009 Kate Maxwell Sat, 16 Oct 2010 16:18:37 +0000 http://dreamstudies.org/?p=1509#comment-1009 My aunt who I was very close to (my whole extended family is very close), passed away almost 5 years ago. Every once in awhile I experience these bereavement dreams, and in fact I had one about 2 weeks ago. The dream always ends up with me sobbing, and usually waking up feeling profoundly sad. My aunt never seems to have a message or a purpose in the dream. She's simply there with us- talking, laughing, eating, drinking- the normal, mundane stuff we do everyday. And I think, "I've missed this so much, but now she's finally back and everything's how it should be." It's as if she's returned from several years abroad. I guess it's because I never had any closure with her, no real chance to say goodbye, even though I was present at her wake, funeral, and burial. The whole time it just felt so unreal, like we were burying a wax figure. I don't know if it's worse or better than feeling like she's really, actually gone forever. I just know that whenever I have one of these dreams, she fades away by the end of it, or like in my most recent one, she simply closes her eyes and never opens them again. As a healthy 50 year old, my aunt's passing was very sudden and unexpected. All of us in my family feel like she was ripped from our lives. These dreams I have feel like that ripping and tearing all over again. They are positive and happy until suddenly they are not. I know there's no quick fix to grief and that her death will remain one of the biggest things to ever impact my life. Five years later it's still hard for me to think or talk about her without tearing up. I just wish I could find a way to accept her death and the reality that I will eventually lose everyone I love instead of raging in my mind at all the evil, twisted people in this world who go on living while good, undeserving people are dead. Anger is so stifling. Do you have any advice as to how to use these dreams to find peace? Each time she appears, I'm afraid to say or do anything outside of the norm because I don't want to break the illusion that everything is fine. My aunt who I was very close to (my whole extended family is very close), passed away almost 5 years ago. Every once in awhile I experience these bereavement dreams, and in fact I had one about 2 weeks ago. The dream always ends up with me sobbing, and usually waking up feeling profoundly sad. My aunt never seems to have a message or a purpose in the dream. She’s simply there with us- talking, laughing, eating, drinking- the normal, mundane stuff we do everyday. And I think, “I’ve missed this so much, but now she’s finally back and everything’s how it should be.” It’s as if she’s returned from several years abroad. I guess it’s because I never had any closure with her, no real chance to say goodbye, even though I was present at her wake, funeral, and burial. The whole time it just felt so unreal, like we were burying a wax figure. I don’t know if it’s worse or better than feeling like she’s really, actually gone forever. I just know that whenever I have one of these dreams, she fades away by the end of it, or like in my most recent one, she simply closes her eyes and never opens them again.

As a healthy 50 year old, my aunt’s passing was very sudden and unexpected. All of us in my family feel like she was ripped from our lives. These dreams I have feel like that ripping and tearing all over again. They are positive and happy until suddenly they are not. I know there’s no quick fix to grief and that her death will remain one of the biggest things to ever impact my life. Five years later it’s still hard for me to think or talk about her without tearing up.

I just wish I could find a way to accept her death and the reality that I will eventually lose everyone I love instead of raging in my mind at all the evil, twisted people in this world who go on living while good, undeserving people are dead. Anger is so stifling. Do you have any advice as to how to use these dreams to find peace? Each time she appears, I’m afraid to say or do anything outside of the norm because I don’t want to break the illusion that everything is fine.

]]> By: Ryan Hurd http://dreamstudies.org/2009/11/05/how-dreams-of-bereavement-reach-out-to-us/comment-page-1/#comment-1008 Ryan Hurd Thu, 15 Jul 2010 03:37:24 +0000 http://dreamstudies.org/?p=1509#comment-1008 Terry, thanks for commenting. While I can't say what this dream "means" per se, I suggest a pragmatic approach that you take her request literally. If this were my dream -- so I'm structuring my personal reality on to the shared space of the dream translated into text, that's how far I am for your personal associations -- The next time I have this dream, I will take a cloth and help her wash her face or get into the bath, however she frames the request. I would keep a journal or somehow solidify this intention (prayer) as I go to sleep each night. Cleansing is one of the oldest rituals of purification we have in our minds, and it can have a powerful effect on all parties. Terry, thanks for commenting. While I can’t say what this dream “means” per se, I suggest a pragmatic approach that you take her request literally. If this were my dream — so I’m structuring my personal reality on to the shared space of the dream translated into text, that’s how far I am for your personal associations — The next time I have this dream, I will take a cloth and help her wash her face or get into the bath, however she frames the request. I would keep a journal or somehow solidify this intention (prayer) as I go to sleep each night. Cleansing is one of the oldest rituals of purification we have in our minds, and it can have a powerful effect on all parties.

]]> By: Terry http://dreamstudies.org/2009/11/05/how-dreams-of-bereavement-reach-out-to-us/comment-page-1/#comment-1007 Terry Wed, 14 Jul 2010 15:02:08 +0000 http://dreamstudies.org/?p=1509#comment-1007 I have a questions. My mom passed away 3 months ago at age 72 from leukemia. It was a very long and painful illness. I continue to have dreams of her still sick or in the hospital but the dreams always ends with her saying she has to wash her face or take a bath. Can you tell me what she is trying to tell me? I have a questions. My mom passed away 3 months ago at age 72 from leukemia. It was a very long and painful illness. I continue to have dreams of her still sick or in the hospital but the dreams always ends with her saying she has to wash her face or take a bath. Can you tell me what she is trying to tell me?

]]> By: Ryan Hurd http://dreamstudies.org/2009/11/05/how-dreams-of-bereavement-reach-out-to-us/comment-page-1/#comment-1006 Ryan Hurd Mon, 12 Apr 2010 16:42:06 +0000 http://dreamstudies.org/?p=1509#comment-1006 one of my frustrations about wordpress is that sometimes comments slip past my radar.... thanks to both Wanda and Emily for commenting here. Emily, the only advice I may have - if you're still out there - is to continue doing what you are already doing -- sitting, listening, and being with this dream figure. That's seems to be all she requires right now. Hopefully her speech will become less garbled soon. one of my frustrations about wordpress is that sometimes comments slip past my radar…. thanks to both Wanda and Emily for commenting here.

Emily, the only advice I may have – if you’re still out there – is to continue doing what you are already doing — sitting, listening, and being with this dream figure. That’s seems to be all she requires right now. Hopefully her speech will become less garbled soon.

]]> By: Emily http://dreamstudies.org/2009/11/05/how-dreams-of-bereavement-reach-out-to-us/comment-page-1/#comment-1005 Emily Sun, 31 Jan 2010 22:47:43 +0000 http://dreamstudies.org/?p=1509#comment-1005 I have a question and i hope someone can answer it or at least give me some advise. I lost someone very close to me five years ago. My dreams about her started shortly after her death, that was a plausable event to me. But over the last two years the dreams are becoming more frequent sometimes four or five times a week. She always next to me very vividly I could tell you what she is wearing. She never says much and what she says doesn't make sense. I'll admit I haven't been able to bounce back from her death as quickly as I should, if there is a such thing, or if she needs me. I don't kwow how to interrupt these dreams. I have always had very memorable dreams, and I do keep a journal. I have a question and i hope someone can answer it or at least give me some advise.
I lost someone very close to me five years ago. My dreams about her started shortly after her death, that was a plausable event to me. But over the last two years the dreams are becoming more frequent sometimes four or five times a week. She always next to me very vividly I could tell you what she is wearing. She never says much and what she says doesn’t make sense. I’ll admit I haven’t been able to bounce back from her death as quickly as I should, if there is a such thing, or if she needs me. I don’t kwow how to interrupt these dreams. I have always had very memorable dreams, and I do keep a journal.

]]> By: Wanda http://dreamstudies.org/2009/11/05/how-dreams-of-bereavement-reach-out-to-us/comment-page-1/#comment-1004 Wanda Tue, 10 Nov 2009 15:58:16 +0000 http://dreamstudies.org/?p=1509#comment-1004 I wanted to share a thought on this topic. When I was 13, my aunt, whom I was very close to, died of cervical cancer. Her last few months of illness, I didn't want to go and see her. I felt guilt about this. Soon after she died, my mother left me and my father for another man. My father and I lost our home and we moved in with his mother. While living there I began to have dreams which lasted for a year--the entire year I lived at this home. The dreams were about my aunt which had passed away. She would come out of the hall way dressed in sheets at first, frightening me. She was horrifying. Very ghostly. She seemed to come "at me" but would never harm me. I was so afraid. Gradually each dream (almost every night) would change. She would be come less frightful. More nuetral and then finally, the last few months of my dreams, we talked and laughed and I asked her why she had to die. She eventually told me she hated that she had to die but she must also die again. In my last few dreams, she died again, over and over again. Then, I moved from the house and have not dreamt of her since. I am now 39. She was special to me and I regret not telling her good-bye. I loved her so much. I can only think that the year worth of dreams helped me to say good-bye..sort of like a second chance. I wanted to share a thought on this topic. When I was 13, my aunt, whom I was very close to, died of cervical cancer. Her last few months of illness, I didn’t want to go and see her. I felt guilt about this. Soon after she died, my mother left me and my father for another man. My father and I lost our home and we moved in with his mother. While living there I began to have dreams which lasted for a year–the entire year I lived at this home. The dreams were about my aunt which had passed away. She would come out of the hall way dressed in sheets at first, frightening me. She was horrifying. Very ghostly. She seemed to come “at me” but would never harm me. I was so afraid. Gradually each dream (almost every night) would change. She would be come less frightful. More nuetral and then finally, the last few months of my dreams, we talked and laughed and I asked her why she had to die. She eventually told me she hated that she had to die but she must also die again. In my last few dreams, she died again, over and over again. Then, I moved from the house and have not dreamt of her since. I am now 39. She was special to me and I regret not telling her good-bye. I loved her so much. I can only think that the year worth of dreams helped me to say good-bye..sort of like a second chance.

]]> By: Ryan Hurd http://dreamstudies.org/2009/11/05/how-dreams-of-bereavement-reach-out-to-us/comment-page-1/#comment-1003 Ryan Hurd Tue, 10 Nov 2009 06:40:59 +0000 http://dreamstudies.org/?p=1509#comment-1003 thanks Ed! I had a great time with your class. As you may know, there are few peer-reviewed studies about salvia, but the best best is maps.org Interestingly enough, salvia is classified as an oneirogen for its reverie-like effects. Another entheogen that has been likened to the experience of lucid dreaming is the ayahuasca brew. thanks Ed! I had a great time with your class. As you may know, there are few peer-reviewed studies about salvia, but the best best is maps.org Interestingly enough, salvia is classified as an oneirogen for its reverie-like effects. Another entheogen that has been likened to the experience of lucid dreaming is the ayahuasca brew.

]]> By: Ed http://dreamstudies.org/2009/11/05/how-dreams-of-bereavement-reach-out-to-us/comment-page-1/#comment-1002 Ed Tue, 10 Nov 2009 04:09:09 +0000 http://dreamstudies.org/?p=1509#comment-1002 Great lecture on the berkeley Dream course! thanks a bunch I am extremely interested in psychedelic plants and this realm of human experience. Salvia divinorum provided a very similar account of your lucid dream experience, childhood elements and extremes of psyche. Anyway, if you are aware of interesting studies or have a concrete opinion please elaborate. Really cool site Great lecture on the berkeley Dream course! thanks a bunch

I am extremely interested in psychedelic plants and this realm of human experience. Salvia divinorum provided a very similar account of your lucid dream experience, childhood elements and extremes of psyche. Anyway, if you are aware of interesting studies or have a concrete opinion please elaborate.

Really cool site

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